It's 11:56pm on a Wednesday night, which means that tomorrow is Thursday and you're suddenly wondering why on earth you have stayed awake for so long when you have to be up for work in about 7 hours. It's 11:57pm now and you have successfully deleted this blog post 4 times. Every time, you get about half a page written and then delete it all as soon as you read it. It's 11:58pm and you're wondering if what you told Mark this evening is true. Have you really not been writing anymore because nothing tragic has happened? That doesn't make you seem like a very good writer if you can't even write without a horrible event taking place. It's now 12:00am on Thursday morning and you're so frustrated because you want to write more than anything! You want to just look at a picture, or read a quote and then go "Ah Ha!". Unfortunately, that's just NOT happening. It's 12:01am and you're wondering if this post is even worth it. Is it really worth you putting into words the mundane thoughts that are floating in your head tonight? |
I told Stacey that I have been trying and trying to write a post about depression. I just can't ever get it quite right. Our preacher spoke about depression not too long after Robin Williams passed away. After the sermon, we had several people come forward and say that they have been struggling with depression. I told them that we do get through it. Nobody mentions that part, but there really are people who overcome it and come out on the other side...I am one of those people. I'm the one who would shut myself off from the rest of the world when I felt like it was closing in. I'm the one who pushed my husband away because I couldn't bear the thought that I could bring him down with me. I'm also the person who recognized that I didn't feel like myself. I hated feeling lonely in a crowded room and I hated to feel unloved when God was clearly wrapping me in his love and warmth. I wanted to feel "normal" again. I wanted my old self back. I didn't like this skeleton of Brianna that was filling in for me while my mind wandered. Once I set my mind to getting better (and once I asked Mark if he could get me some help) I prayed like a maniac. I didn't want to push anyone away anymore. I didn't want to grieve longer than everyone else when I knew that it was no longer healing my body, but hurting it. I focused on the good. I focused on the fact that I would wake up every day and see the sun shining. I kept up with my bible reading and was determined to trust God, because that's all it really comes down to isn't it? I got depressed because of tragic events that happened in my life. There was nothing that anyone could do about the circumstances. Bad things DO happen to good people. Our hope though, is built on the foundation of Christ. We have to have faith that he will bring us through these trials in our lives.
You're depressed because you're lonely? Talk to God! Pray for him to bring someone into your life and take away the loneliness. Then, let Him know how thankful you are for having him to talk to even when you can't physically see Him. You're depressed because you lost a family member? (or 3). Grief is good. Grief is natural. It's when it starts to cause you emotional harm that it gets unhealthy. Pray that God will heal your broken heart and pray that they are now rejoicing with the angels. Thank God that they no longer have to live in this sin filled world.
"H.O.P.E. Hold On, Pain Ends."
You can conquer anything with the Lord on your side. This darkness that has seeped into your life right now? It's a hill that you have to climb. Lucky for us Christians, God holds us up when we're halfway to the top and we can't fathom continuing a step further. He will get you through anything, as long as your faith is in Him.
12:25am. I did it.
xoxoxo
You're depressed because you're lonely? Talk to God! Pray for him to bring someone into your life and take away the loneliness. Then, let Him know how thankful you are for having him to talk to even when you can't physically see Him. You're depressed because you lost a family member? (or 3). Grief is good. Grief is natural. It's when it starts to cause you emotional harm that it gets unhealthy. Pray that God will heal your broken heart and pray that they are now rejoicing with the angels. Thank God that they no longer have to live in this sin filled world.
"H.O.P.E. Hold On, Pain Ends."
You can conquer anything with the Lord on your side. This darkness that has seeped into your life right now? It's a hill that you have to climb. Lucky for us Christians, God holds us up when we're halfway to the top and we can't fathom continuing a step further. He will get you through anything, as long as your faith is in Him.
12:25am. I did it.
xoxoxo